Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
