I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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