I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
