it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
