Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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