You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
