i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
