my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
