I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
