I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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