i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
