getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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