so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Enjoy the penises
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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