The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize