I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My dick has a subreddit
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
