so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
