just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
