"it" just moved
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
