I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
