sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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