They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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