butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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