Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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