Can Purell be used as lube?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's rum buckets o'clock
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
