Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
