Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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