stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
