I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
