you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
