what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
