I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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