Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
