but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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