quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
