we're making bets on your personal life
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
