Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
