dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
