My pussy is not your playground.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
