I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it's like iHOP with fire
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Randomize
