And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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