covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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