My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Drake has all the answers
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
