at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
