I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
