I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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