i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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