he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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