Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
