i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
