i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
