he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
