he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you traded sex for a burrito?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
