Your mouth is God's brothel.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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